So much of getting divorced is all the loss you will face - both immediately and over time. Well, I had to experience another loss and it really hurt. Bonner called me Thursday night from her dad's house to tell me that she had shaved her under arms. Her precious voice telling me about this pre-teen event rocked me ... but I held it together and told her that I was proud of her and completely understood. She told me "Lindsey gave me the razor, but she didn't help me figure it out." Ugh - gut-wrenching! To think that Lindsey would overstep yet another boundary and take a special moment for me and my daughter away cut to the core.
And then today on our way to camp standing in the line waiting to order our lunch at Zaxby's, Bonner got up on her tippy toes and whispered "Mom, I also shaved my legs on Thursday; but I didn't want you to be upset so I didn't tell you on the phone." In front of her, I am sure she could tell how saddened I was by the fact that I wasn't there to share in the experience with her ... again, I held it together; but deep down, I was one giant knot.
My counselor told me one time "Jennifer, You have to understand that Stewart and Lindsey are the type of people that you will have to choose to forgive each and every day because they will continuously choose to hurt you in their power struggle." It's painfully true and yet, here I am again, choosing to forgive while the tears flow!
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